Why do men stand when a woman comes to the table?

It shows respect and helps when greeting the person. Yes, the rule still applies. For men, again, it's a sign of respect. LILLIE-BETH'S ANSWER: Standing up (if possible) when someone approaches a table is a nice way to welcome anyone to the table.

oklahoman.com - Is it still proper etiquette to stand when woman approaches table?

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Lillie-Beth Brinkman, Callie Athey and Helen Ford Wallace

Special to The Oklahoman

QUESTION: Am I still supposed to stand up when a woman approaches the table where I am sitting? How about when a man comes up? What if I am eating my dinner? Etiquette used to require a man to stand when a woman enters the room. Does that rule still apply?

CALLIE’S ANSWER: Growing up I have loved this etiquette. It shows respect and helps when greeting the person. Yes, the rule still applies. For men, again, it's a sign of respect. LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Standing up (if possible) when someone approaches a table is a nice way to welcome anyone to the table. It is customary for men to stand when women approach, but I think you can feel out the situation, as well. Is it a formal event or a casual one? A business occasion? In that case, I wouldn’t single out the women for special treatment. Are people coming and going? One time, at a restaurant and bar, someone I just met stood rigidly anytime I got up and he wouldn’t sit back down until I did, and it felt awkward and too stiff for that casual of a situation. He also talked about how he was doing that because he was a gentleman, which made things even more off-putting. At a crowded or seated business dinner or luncheon, it’s almost impossible to keep standing up as people circle about, so I might gesture to the approaching person in a welcoming way. Yes, it’s nice when men stand up for women as a sign of respect; I like the etiquette tradition when it is subtle and in formal situations. The attention is nice when I’m on a date and a man stands and offers to pull out a seat for me on special occasions. But that doesn’t mean I would require it nor limit the standing to just men, nor would I expect it in a business situation. I would rather see us all welcome newcomers to a table, even if it’s simply through gestures and words.

More etiquette advice: A welcome gesture or half-hearted response?

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HELEN’S ANSWER: It is definitely respectful for you to stand up for anyone coming up to a table or for someone who is entering a room. Usually, we stand up to talk to a woman or a man, unless they are just passing by, or just want to say a quick hello. They usually tell you to sit back down, especially if you are eating. As a general rule, you should stand when a man or a woman joins you anywhere. In a group setting in a large room, people come and go, so in that instance, it is ok to remain seated. GUEST’S ANSWER:Chuck Ainsworth, community leader: Women love a man with manners. When taking a seat at a table, the man should pull the chair back and seat the lady, then be seated. If there are several ladies at the table, he should seat his partner then wait until the other ladies have been seated to sit down. When a woman leaves the table the men should only stand at her return. If a man or woman comes to your table while you are eating, you should stand. Most people will tell you it is not necessary and ask you to be seated and continue eating. I do not think it is necessary to stand when a woman enters the room. Standing for someone entering a room is usually a military courtesy reserved for higher ranking officers. Should you be really unlucky in life, you also will have to stand for the judge. Just one more reason to be nice, polite and respectful.

More: What is gym etiquette for turning on a fan around others?

Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20-plus; Lillie-Beth is 40-plus and Helen is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.

oklahoman.com - Is it still proper etiquette to stand when woman approaches table?

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